From Family-of-Origin Trauma to a Sakinah Marriage: Emotional Transformation and Identity Reconstruction among Adults from Dysfunctional Families of Origin

Tomy Octavian; Evi Afifah Hurriyati

doi:10.18860/psikoislamika.v23i1.41804

From Family-of-Origin Trauma to a Sakinah Marriage: Emotional Transformation and Identity Reconstruction among Adults from Dysfunctional Families of Origin

Tomy Octavian, Evi Afifah Hurriyati

Abstract

This study aimed to understand how adults with a history of dysfunctional families of origin transform family-of-origin wounds into a happy and meaningful sakinah marriage through emotional transformation and identity reconstruction. This study used a qualitatively driven embedded mixed methods design. Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis served as the primary qualitative approach, while a descriptive quantitative strand was embedded as contextual support. Three participants were selected purposively; all came from dysfunctional families of origin, had been married for at least ten years, and reported happy and stable marriages. Data were collected through semi-structured interviews, reflective notes, and the Emotion Regulation Questionnaire, Experiences in Close Relationships–Short Form, Posttraumatic Growth Inventory–Short Form, Meaning in Life Questionnaire, and Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale. The findings showed that family-of-origin wounds functioned as a relational legacy that shaped early vulnerabilities, but did not determine marital failure. Emotional transformation occurred consciously and relationally, self-identity was reconstructed within married life, and sakinah marriage was understood as an adaptive process built through communication, emotion regulation, healthy boundaries, meaning-making, a shared sense of security, and the ability to recover after conflict. Cognitive reappraisal increased across all participants, whereas expressive suppression varied. Meaning in life was relatively strong, and marital satisfaction remained high across all participants in the study. These findings support premarital guidance, trauma-informed couples counseling, psychoeducation on attachment and emotion regulation, and support from religious communities.

Keywords

adult attachment; emotional transformation; family-of-origin trauma; identity reconstruction; sakinah marriage

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DOI: https://doi.org/10.18860/psikoislamika.v23i1.41804